Broken pieces of who I thought I was cover the floor. Bits of “identity” that I’ve held onto so tightly now cut my hands without any extra pressure applied. To the relief of my dying Ego, some things still seem to fit with who “I think” I am, but even typing that sentence I know it is wrong.

Struggling to find an identity without one. Isn’t that what “enlightenment” is? Being able to Be without thinking? Knowing without thoughts? Living without expectations? I’ve read my journals, reread my website, scoured my entries, devoured books, and yet here I am.

I suppose this is my doing (as it all is), thinking something would change. What would it change to? Am I to all of a sudden open my eyes and have all the answers? I guess that’s what I was expecting, and that is where my problems lay. With these damn expectations.

Alright let me drop them. I will… Expect to not have any expecta… Well that didn’t work. Funny really. The more you think about it, the less real it becomes, and yet the more you do not think and act the realer it is.

Is that it right there? To simply not think? Of course I shall think, but to not OVERTHINK. Who’s definition of “overthink” then… It is mine. It always has been, and always will be. The joke is that if I do think that I’m thinking too much, I’m overthinking my thought process - HA. That’s a real fucking winner.

Honest moment: I don’t know. The facade was well played “Oliver”. Whoever the hell you’ve been. You’re a LIAR! But a genuine one, and for that I cannot fault you. Now that I’ve come clean, time to rebuild. But If I build, I am not change, when in reality that is what I am. Life.

So, now I live. Live with sincerity, empathy, and optimism for the moment of Now. The only one we have.

Time to #LiveItForNow. All of it. Not just when I want to… Or when it’s convenient… When I die, the only thing left will be the moment’s I’ve left a piece of myself in. My trail of breadcrumbs can only be left when I stand in that eternal place. The Now of Forever. Here I will stand. Always.

#LiveItFornow