The saddest story to ever be told was the one nobody heard. Deafening silence in noises of Life while a war of doubt, pity, and shame wage between my ears. Forcing a smile to appear “normal”, I cower behind my own body as a shield. As a piece of me I have thrown to the wolves as a sacrifice. Attempting to carry on a conversation with those across from me, my own ideas of how drab and gloomy life is creep back into my mind.

“Be the darkness, embrace the shit.” I hear as I attempt become my own guru. “You cannot have light without dark.” - Ah if only I could embrace the simplicity of that answer. I desperately scramble to take my own seemingly innocent advice. Hearing is easy, listening is sad, and walking is lonely. Every step seems heavier than the last. Every breath is shorter. Every morning is harder.

Have I fallen victim to myself again? Do we ever escape our own reality? Is the reality we create which dictates our emotions, or our feelings which create our reality? Why am I asking? Who wants the answer, and what will they give me? Perhaps I ask questions I am never meant to have an answer for. What does it mean to “discover one’s purpose”?

I wonder what will come. I question what is. I reflect upon what was.

All I will continue to do is to #LiveItForNow, for as fleeting as my life may be, I will remain Eternal.