It can't be real.

The news that I’ll never hear your voice again besides in voice messages I’ve saved. That your hand will never be held, and that your lips will not smile. That your eyes won’t squint, and our laughter will never again harmonize. That your mornings won’t start and that your days won’t end.

You now live in eternity, right where you’ve always been; Where we’ve always been.

Even now as I reel in the pain of knowing how good it was, I dig to find out what lessons are to be learned. I know that’s something you loved about me.

I think about how out of every woman I’ve known, you’re the one who knew (knows?) the most. I was there in some of your darkest days as you for mine. We’ve been taking turns relighting each other’s spiritual torch for the better part of a decade, and each new spark caused a more robust flame that was ever brighter than the last.

We’ve silently cared for each other from afar but knew that time and space truly meant nothing to our bond. And this, I suppose is how our relationship will be at rest.

Now, I get to feel your embrace not with human arms, but in the biting frost and the searing sun. I’ll hear your thoughts in the singing birds and the creaking trees.

You are honored. You are loved.

Forever and on Purpose

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P.S.

I hope it didn’t hurt and that you’ve let go with Grace.

We will carry on. Even with your passing, you’ve continued to remind us of the light you are, and brought out of others.